Let's Read Wheel of Time

Elaida tries to help Moiraine and Siuan prepare for their Aes Sedai test, and they shit all over her.

This chapter demonstrates that Moiraine is actually a hot mess of contradictions, obsession and angst inside: Aren’t the Aes Sedai searching for the Dragon? Why aren’t they searching for the Dragon? I can’t tell them I’ve spent every sleeping and waking moment since I witnessed the prophecy thinking about finding the Dragon. I can’t tell them that, I can’t tell them or they’ll think I’m insane, and then I’ll never become an Aes Sedai, and THEN WHO WILL FIND THE DRAGON???

Moiraine, Siuan and Myrelle keep having naughty slumber parties practice sessions. And what a practice session it is… until Elaida waltzes in and folds her arms beneath her breasts.

Oh yes, here it is!

Arms. Folded. Beneath. Her Breasts.

Dear Mr. Jordan:

Thank you. Thank you for telling me precisely where Elaida’s arms were positioned in relation to her mammary glands. Why, every time my wife crosses her arms, I don’t know where the fuck they’re going to end up! Sometimes they go behind her back, to the side, up above, over her head, behind or between her legs, and only occasionally beneath her breasts. So THANK YOU SIR for specifying. Elaida’s tits are perky enough that her arms may be crossed under, rather than over them. I will be watching your language closely in the future.

Message received, sir. Message received.

Elaida says she wants to observe, so Siuan and Myrelle do their best to distract Moiraine as she weaves.

ELAIDA: Is that the best you girls can do? What are you trying to do, distract her or give her a fucking back massage? Stand aside!

Elaida proceeds to pummel Moiraine and Siuan so severely that she feels the need to note that the injuries will not, in fact, be fatal. Sort of like that scene in Terminator 2.

ELAIDA: See you tomorrow night, bitches. [Leaves the room.]

MYRELLE: Oh thank the Light. I know just what to do. Sheriam, Ellid, get in here, girls. We’re going to rub this ointment all over Siuan and Moiraine’s naked bodies, then tuck these sluts into bed together! Now help me get their clothes off!

This goes on for three nights, much to Myrelle’s delight, before Merean finds out and puts a stop to it. At first, not unlike little girls, Siuan and Moiraine assume that someone “told on” Elaida for torturing them.

MEREAN: Oh heavens, no. The only thing Elaida did wrong was to give you ladies an unfair advantage when you take the trial for the shawl.

Yes, apparently Elaida legitimately was trying to help these women prepare for the test, and what did she get for thanks? Someone (obviously not Myrelle) ratted her out, and Moiraine realizes that it has so filled Elaida with resentment that she has made an enemy for life.

MOIRAINE: Well, I’m glad all that’s over!

MEREAN: Moiraine Damodred, you are summoned to be hazed tested for the shawl of an Aes Sedai. The Light keep you whole and see you safe.

MOIRAINE: Oh, fuck me.