Let's Read Wheel of Time

More than any other in the series, this book challenged the limits of paperback book binding. It's fucking huge. The Dragon Reborn feels like a novella in comparison. The first two chapters alone are dauntingly long.

And behold, the original cover art for the novel. It's book four of the series, a tale of prophecy, betrayal, and the unstoppable march toward the Last Battle. So naturally, the artwork looks like a Normal Rockwell painting of Rand taking the kids out for a wholesome camping trip.

Look at him! Rand al'Thor, the Dragon Reborn, conqueror of the Stone of Tear -- with the cleanest, most aggressive part in his hair I've seen since taking Mister O'Meara's woodshop class in seventh grade. This isn't the world-breaking messiah of legend. This is "gee whiz, don't forget to bring the marshmallows, kids!"

Meanwhile, Mat is lounging with a mug of ale, looking like he just came out of a JC Penney back-to-school sale catalog. The vibe is less "roguish gambler with supernatural luck" and more "kid you benchwarm next to in high school band."

And then there's Moiraine, ladling soup, as though she would deign to lift a finger in any capacity remotely resembling drudgery. This is a woman who just erased a fucking Forsaken from existence -- she isn't going to ladle jack shit!

Okay then. Let's take a deep breath, put on our skimming mindset, and slay this beast.