The people of Tear recognize Rand as the Dragon Reborn.
The entire city of Tear buzzes with excitement. “Al’Thor! The Dragon! Al’Thor!” the people exalt.
Our heroes gather in a room at the Stone.
NYNAEVE: I can’t believe Perrin is here in Tear. Are you sure he’s all right?
MOIRAINE: [shrugs] Fuck if I care. He was breathing when I left him.
Honestly, this woman is taking a page from Superman III here and transforming into Dark Moiraine. And it’s a good thing.
Moiraine shows everyone a cuendillar item — a fourth seal on the Dark One’s prison, this one intact. Finally, some good news!
Twenty-eight tugs in total! All will be forgiven if we get one slap per tug.
The group figures out that the Aiel are the People of the Dragon. Somewhere in there Nynaeve gives us one last painful tug on her braid, bringing the grand total to twenty-eight tugs.
And then everyone spots the elephant in the room: a bunch of people seem to be under the mistaken impression that Ba’alzamon is the Dark One, and that they just fought the Last fucking Battle. Mat is particularly enamored with this notion.
MAT: The hardest part is done. The Stone has fallen to the People of the Dragon, Rand has Callandor, and Shai’tan is dead.
MOIRAINE: You small-minded moron.
This time it is Mat who makes the dumbass move of naming the Dark One. In the conversation that follows it turns out a bunch of people think Rand just killed the ultimate force of evil in the universe. Riiiiiiiight. Moiraine, not possessing shit for brains, schools them on how dumb this is. But hey, Mat said his name, so at least we have the Dark One’s attention now. Oh Great Lord of the Dark, can we be finished with this fucking book yet?
DARK ONE: Yes, cowardly mortal.
Oh, thank you, Great Lord!
DARK ONE: You still have eleven books to go, fucker! Hundreds of braid-tugs. Long streaks of back-to-back Perrin chapters. Endless dreams sequences. Nonsensical final battles. Despair, mortal.
Lanfear sends her regards, and Mat realizes he needs to get the fuck out of there ASAP, but that about does it for the Dragon Reborn.
The end.