Let's Read Wheel of Time

This is probably a mistake…

Chapter 34: He Who Comes with the Dawn

Rand and Mat return from Rhuidean, both marked by their experiences — Rand with dragon tattoos on his forearms and Mat with a nasty welt around his neck. Rand claims the title of He Who Comes with the Dawn, but many of the Aiel aren’t impressed. Rhuarc and the Wise Ones begin organizing a meeting of the clans at Cold Rocks Hold. The chapter concludes with Moiraine and Aviendha returning from their own trials in the city.

Mat and Rand trudge wearily out of Rhuidean. They’re in rough shape after the battle with the flatulence monsters, and looking forward to being Healed. But uh-oh: Moiraine is still in Rhuidean, and none of the Wise Ones is capable of Healing.

COMMON SENSE: Hey, maybe we should ask Egwene if she could perform Healing. She’s an Aes Sedai in training, right?

EVERYONE ELSE: Shhhhh!

Nobody even thinks to ask Egwene, even though she is posing as a full Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah. It’s like characters in these books have pulled their own brains out of their heads and shoved them up their asses. So anyway, the best they can do is some foul-smelling ointment. While his wounds are being treated, Rand learns who his biological parents were.

The Wise Ones prompt Rand to show his forearms, both of which are sporting spiffy new dragon tattoos, which I guess is proof that Rand is He Who Comes with the Dawn. He expects adoration. He expects fanfare. Maybe even a little fear? Instead, half the Aiel present walk away in disgust. Like “oh no, this Wetlander isn’t our savior.” Rhuarc suggests calling a meeting of clans at Cold Rocks Hold, and Amys gets tasked with sending out RSVPs via the World of Dreams.

In the end, Aviendha and Moiraine both return from Rhuidean. By explicitly calling attention to the fact that they are devoid of clothes and sunburned in intimate places, Jordan gives readers yet another excuse to picture them naked. He may have had pacing problems, but bless the man for giving us some porn along the way.